I seem to have a situation

I have never spent so much time with my hand on my forehead as I have over the past four days – some combination of fever-checking and despair. 

I really really need to go now

Today makes a week. At 2:30 pm it will be 7 days since I arrived in emerg at Mt. Sinai. I woke up this morning feeling like I’m getting a cold.  Fondling my forehead has become a tic. I’m scared.

Last night was the first night that really sucked. It started with my cousin Ari getting stuck in the Sabbath elevator for half an hour on her way to visit. Really God? The Sabbath elevator? 

By the book

It’s Tuesday at Mt Sinai hospital. I’ve been here since last Thursday. I feel grateful that every morning until today (dark, mood-fitting rain), I’ve opened the blinds to bright sunshine, and that it took this long to get a nurse that really pisses me off.

The Girl in the Plastic Bubble

In case you were wondering where the fuck I am, I’m back from Croatia and having another kind of vacation at Mt Sinai hospital, in a room, by myself, where they keep changing the protection protocols from gowns, masks and gloves, to nothing, and back. For my protection.

Shaking the Cancer Hangover.

I’ve come across the ocean to the island of Brac, Croatia on the Adriatic with my dear friend Kathy.

Am I an ingrate?

I know, I know. You’re thinking: 

First Things First



I’m tired of counting down. Feels like my whole cancer life is about counting down.

You can think - but not in colour

While the second opinion was brighter than the first, everything I go through in Lymphomaland opens new windows of insight I’d have been happy to keep closed. It’s getting drafty in here. There’s that always-look-on-the-bright-side saying - Whenever God (or whoever) closes a door, he/she/they opens a window. Why do we think a bunch of open doors and windows is a good thing? Bugs and rodents wander in, kids slip out. It’s like disguising problems as opportunities.

Second opinion

You know the joke about making your second million in business first, because it’s so much easier than your first? Well so it goes with opinions, next time I’m going to get my second opinion first, because that was way better. And why don't they call it a first opinion?